If you or a friend need urgent assistance, call 911 immediately, or take your friend directly to the emergency room. If you feel it’s safe, stay with your friend, or find someone to stay with them until help arrives.
TIME
WELL
SPENT
Today teens are often navigating social media without guidance, which can lead to mental health risks related to excessive passive screen time. That’s why The Mental Health Coalition is launching the Time Well Spent Challenge, encouraging parents to have meaningful conversations with teens about healthy social media use. Our Discussion Guide explores what “time well spent” means in the context of social media. This guide includes a list of thoughtful conversation starters designed to spark dialogue between parents and teens, as well as tools and resources to navigate these discussions effectively.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Navigating a conversation about healthy social media use with teens might feel intimidating to some. But it doesn’t have to be scary! Use these tips to get the discussion started.
Choose a Comfortable Setting
Select a relaxed environment to encourage open communication — this could be during a walk, at the dinner table, or in the living room.
Set a Positive Tone
Frame the conversation as a collaborative effort to navigate social media together, emphasizing support and understanding.
Ask Open-Ended Questions
Use the Time Well Spent Discussion Questions (below) as a jumping-off point to spark dialogue, allowing your teen to express themselves freely.
Encourage Follow-Ups
Use the provided follow-up questions or ask clarifying questions like, “What do you mean by that?” to keep the conversation going.
Share Your Own Experiences
Personal anecdotes can help build rapport and show that you understand their perspective.
Take Out Your Phones
After some initial distraction-free conversation, it can help to look at your teen’s social media together. Explore what types of content they see and enjoy, and learn how to set up tools together.
Stay Calm with Pushback
If faced with resistance, acknowledge their feelings and listen without judgment.
Admit When You Don’t Know
If you don’t have an answer to a question from your teen, say so and suggest exploring the topic together.
CONVERSATION STARTERS
Parents can use the below questions to talk to teens about Time Well Spent on social media.
1
How does social media make you feel?
What emotions do you experience when you scroll through your feeds, and how do these feelings change depending on the content you see?
What types of content on social media feel valuable to you? What are your favorite accounts to follow?
Are there any resources or tools you use to support your experience?
2
Have you ever felt pressured to present a certain image online?
Can you share an experience where you felt you needed to portray yourself in a specific way on social media? How did that affect you?
Are there any resources or tools you use to support your experience?
3
How do you think social media impacts your friendships?
Do you feel that social media strengthens your relationships, or does it sometimes create misunderstandings or conflict?
Are there any resources or tools you use to strengthen your relationships?
4
What are some ways you manage your screen time?
Have you set any boundaries for yourself regarding social media use? If so, what strategies have worked for you?
Are there any resources or tools you use to help manage your screen time?
5
What types of activities on social media feel like time well spent — time spent in a way that supports your mental wellbeing, self-image, friendships, or creativity?
How can we support each other in navigating social media to make more time well spent?
TAKE THE CHALLENGE
Download a printable PDF of the Time Well Spent Discussion Guide, and use the conversation starters with your teen.
LEARN MORE ABOUT HEALTHY SOCIAL MEDIA USE
Media Guidelines for Teens
Media is always evolving, which can make it challenging to keep up with the latest recommendations for teens’ tech use. Scroll through the following tips from Child Mind Institute for some guidance on keeping teens safe and healthy online.
Screen time shouldn’t be all the time
Set sensible boundaries on how much screen time is appropriate for your teen. You can also designate media-free spaces, like bedrooms and the dinner table. Establishing (and enforcing) these limits teaches kids to be healthy media consumers.
Model good tech behavior
It’s important to model healthy behaviors and boundaries when it comes to screen time and social media use. Avoid using your phone at the table, and make sure your teens don’t need to compete with a screen for your attention. Besides setting a good example, this shows them that you care and are interested, which makes them more likely to open up to you.
Encourage privacy
Whatever age your family decides is appropriate for social media, make sure that your teenager is very careful about privacy. Research privacy settings with them and make sure they understand when something is public or private — or somewhere in the middle — and how that should affect what they post.
Don’t make screens the reward (or consequence)
Technology is enormously appealing to kids and teens as it is, but when we make screen time the go-to thing teens get for good behavior — or get taken away for bad behavior — we are making it even more desirable, thereby increasing the chances that they will overvalue it.
Yes to friending, no to spying
If your teen is on social media, you can follow or friend them, and monitor their page. But avoid going through their messages unless there is cause for concern. Parents should begin by trusting their children, and privacy should be taken seriously.
Using Social Media for Good
While some online experiences may lead to peer comparison, “doomscrolling,” or other harmful mental health outcomes, there are also ways to intentionally use social media to find supportive communities. Scroll through the ideas below, and learn more from Active Minds.
Join groups that educate and inspire
Actively taking part in positive online communities allows teens to educate themselves on different worldviews and educational topics.
Spread positivity online
Sharing campaigns and content from nonprofits or other mission-driven organizations can allow teens to be more involved in social justice and mental health initiatives.
Be a support system for peers
Reaching out to friends online can foster feelings of solidarity and togetherness, especially if they are having a rough day.
Find in-person events
Social media allows people across communities to organize and find local events on a variety of topics, hobbies, etc.
ONLINE TOOLS
Meta has built tools and resources to help parents and teens feel safe and informed. Explore Family Center, a central hub for parents to support their teens’ experiences across all Meta apps and devices, including expert resources on building positive online habits.
RES~URCES
Check out the Mental Health Coalition’s Resource Library for information on a variety of mental health topics.
For more on youth and teen mental health, check out our partners below:
Child Mind Institute
The Child Mind Institute is dedicated to transforming the lives of children and families struggling with mental health and learning disorders by giving them the help they need to thrive.
Kids Mental Health Foundation
The Kids Mental Health Foundation offers free resources to empower adults with the confidence to understand, address and promote the mental health of kids.
Active Minds
Through education, research, advocacy, and a focus on young adults ages 14–25, Active Minds is opening up the conversation about mental health and creating lasting change in the way mental health is talked about, cared for, and valued in the United States.
Further Learning
- Social Media and Self-Doubt (Child Mind Institute)
- Is Internet Addiction Real? (Child Mind Institute)
- Selfies, Social, & Screens: 2023 Back-to-School Toolkit (Mental Health America)
- Webinar: I Don’t Know How To Navigate My Child’s Use Of Technology (Mental Health America)
- Webinar: Safe Spaces – How Digital Environments Can Serve Youth (Mental Health America)
- Kids and Social Media (Kids Mental Health Foundation)
- How to Make a Family Social Media Plan (Kids Mental Health Foundation)
- How to Know if Your Child Has a Social Media Problem (Kids Mental Health Foundation)
- Mindful Consumption of Social Media Can Support Our Mental Health (Active Minds)
- How to Protect Your Space and Well-Being on Instagram (The Trevor Project)
- Understanding Social Comparison on Social Media (The Jed Foundation)
- Am I a Cyberbully? Examples of Cyberbullying and How to Stop (The Jed Foundation)
- Social Media and Body Image (The Jed Foundation)
- Help Teens Avoid Online Mistakes (Center for Parent & Teen Communication)
OUR SOS INITIATIVE FOR YOUTH ONLINE SAFETY
What else can be done to protect our youth online?
The Mental Health Coalition is transforming youth mental health in the digital space via the Safe Online Standards for Kids’ Mental Health (S.O.S.) initiative by developing credible, data-driven standards for kids’ mental health on technology platforms.